Luck just isn’t enough (part 2 of 2)

Written by on July 9, 2014 in Learning to Breathe - 5 Comments

There comes a certain point in time when getting away with just luck becomes completely impossible.

After having kids and needing to actually work on keeping my figure slim for a change, I started to realise that luck wouldn’t really be enough to get me by anymore. Though my weight was soon under control again due to some work through exercise and developing better eating habits, there were many other issues that would crop up over time that wouldn’t be so easy to control. Things kept cropping up all over the place in fact, to demonstrate very strongly that although maybe my luck wasn’t something that would ever run out or expire, it wouldn’t take me very far for very long anymore either. With age, my beauty would fade and diminish and that would be one ace card less that I would possess. And then what?

In the time of my luck, my inability to work hard enough at my own life saw my marriage fall apart: I wasn’t willing to work as hard as I needed to to keep it together, deciding it just wasn’t worth it. It saw my career disintegrate: taking 4 years off to raise my children meant that I had to work that much harder to get back into the workforce, despite seemingly endless rejection. It seemed too difficult and ego bruising and I was lucky enough to have money coming in, so I hid from the work.

I was desperate to become a writer, but that took work too. What, I had to write every day? Did that include weekends and holidays too? That was a bit too much work for me and books were started and never finished. Getting back to work at the level I wanted also seemed too difficult so I tried to start a company myself. Of course, naturally, that stalled as well because of my lack of desire to work and my continuous wait for my luck to save me.

Looking at that person now that I was some years ago, I am filled with 2 feelings. One is shame for who I wasn’t that I’d always thought I would be by then and the other is shame at all of the time that I’d wasted. It’s taken my parents’ incessant worry about where I was heading, a homeopathic remedy that my dad put me on out of desperation to give me back “my power” as the remedy calls it (I’m not really sure how it works but it seems to be working), and yet another failed relationship where I actually dared to ask for feedback and he actually stepped outside himself to be kind enough to give it to me for me to finally see that luck was just not going to be enough anymore: I had to work.

I am proud to say that I am at least kind of, sort of, headed in the right direction now. Still wanting to one day be a well-known, published writer, I am forcing myself to write every single day — yes that does include weekends and holidays! I am also giving a chance to whatever decent opportunity comes my way on the work front (even if not quite at the high level that I would have liked to be by now). And I am trying to work harder with my children too to make sure that at least that is one relationship that remains strong.

Those who are lucky enough to have luck in their lives are very fortunate indeed. But luck is only there to give us that slight push to bring us in the right direction. It is a helping hand only. To get us to where we want to be takes much more than just luck: it takes discipline and it takes work. I realized just in the nick of time. Let’s hope that I never forget again.

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